Orsino would be proud

I knew you were not right for me.

I knew you were not "the one".

I knew I should have stopped early

But I did anyway.

As I felt like I was right.

I suffered a lot but I still loved

Every single damage I got.

One day you were cold,

One day you were giving love.

Once you spoke your real mind

And smiled as I cried.

My mom was right,

She said "no, he is mad,

He is insane!"

You were insane.

I should have known better

Or at least act like my age.

Though I am nothing more than a teenager.

Betrayal of trust, my heart did, as the legends say.

I loved your madness,

And I don't know why.

I loved your words

I loved your extraordinary body.

I loved you,

And I loved everything about you.

Cannot find, cannot describe the words of my mind.

When I think about you, I just go blind.

It hurts, to be honest, it really does.

This is my heart that I cannot trust.

Then I fell again and again

For the wrong guys

I guess this is my new habit.

I see the pain, I fall for it again.

I guess I am in love with the idea of being rejected

Being tortured

Being ignored

Being in agony for someone.

Being in love with the idea of being in love.

Finally with dignity, I can speak without a break.

Finally I can say what I had done and what should I had.

My chest is up, I am standing upright.

I guess I have never ever loved you, my dear.

I cared, protected you in my own ways.

I should have protected myself instead.